And for my next trick...

Hi everybody! As of this writing, I am one final exam away from finishing my B.A.. Jenna and I graduate on May 2nd. Mom is making me wake up early on a Saturday just so she can get some pictures of me walking across a stage wearing a dress and a funny hat. In the mean time, you can all make your checks payable to Zachary Hensley. I'll be expecting an amount reflective of that which I gifted to each of you upon your respective graduations...

It's probably a good idea to go ahead and fill everyone in on my plans so as to avoid saying the same thing to everyone individually. (If you've heard this already, skip ahead to Jonny's post about hanging out with famous people). I'm taking a whole week off after my graduation. Yup. It'll be the good life. From May 2nd to May 9th I'll be my own man. Maybe I'll read a little, take a nap in the afternoon, stay up late watching a Cosby Show marathon... the possibilities are really endless. Then, on May 10th, I'll start courses toward my Masters in Political Science. I got a pretty sweet deal from UWF (because I'm awesome). I've been awarded a Graduate Assistantship by the Government Department. This will pay about half of my tuition and give me a job working as an assistant within the department (grading papers, doing research, running off copies, etc.). While this job doesn't pay much and I probably won't be eating very well, it does allow me to finally quit delivering pizzas. So it's a pretty good deal. If all goes according to my calculations, I'll have my M.A. finished in December of 2010. ... And that's about it on that subject.

I've taken the liberty of anticipating some questions that may be rumbling around in your brains about now and answered them in this short FAQ segment of this post.

I thought you were going to go to law school. What happened to that? Can't cut it?
I haven't entirely ruled out law school for the future. I have, however, very much come to doubt that I really want to be a lawyer. Mainly, I don't want to have to assume crazy amounts of debt and be forced to take just whatever job I can after I graduate. I don't think I would be very happy as a wage-laboring lawyer. Also, I would have to sit around for a year and a half before I could even start law school. Pretty much every time I have said that out loud someone has told me how "taking time off doesn't work" and that "I would never amount to anything" and that I "may as well plaster my diploma onto the hood of my car and deliver pizzas for all of eternity."

How much did you give me for my graduation?
Nothing. In fact, I probably got a free meal out of it. Thanks.

I think I already found some pictures of you wearing a dress and a funny hat on a stage while I was surfing the internet.
That isn't me.

Flying Toby Keith in Afghanistan

April 24, 2009

I was just telling Dad yesterday that every day is like groundhogs day around here.  I have been in Afghanistan for 5 months now, and life is pretty routine.  I guess boring and routine isn't so bad if you live in a combat zone, and when its not boring is when you have to look out.  Nevertheless, today was a little different.  

Last night at around 11:30 I was awakened by one of the night crew pilots.  I was actually schedualed to have today off, but he woke me up to tell me there was a change of plans.  It seems that Country Music Star Toby Keith is in Afghanistan doing a USO tour.  I was told that I had to fly Toby Keith around East Paktika so he could perform for the troops.  Now I am not a country music fan, but as things go, I suppose if I had to work with any country music singer, I would choose Toby Keith, because well some of his songs are pretty funny.  

Anyway, so I got up bright and early this morning and flew out to FOB Sharona, about 40 minutes away.  We were late arriving at Sharona, because our sister ship had some mechanical problems, but it didn't matter anyway, because the C130 that was flying Toby into Sharona was late anyway.  Toby got in my aircraft and so my crew chiefs, (both southern redneck boys) put him up on the headset.  As we flew him around, I chatted with him the whole way.  Both of our crew chiefs were so excited, and but they were shy to talk to him at first.  But I talked to him a lot.  He is a very personable guy, and he's very down-to-earth and approachable.  He was joking around with me and made me laugh, and he laughed at my jokes too.  He laughed out loud when I confessed to him that I watched a pirated copy of his movie, Beer for My Horses last week.  I asked him how many times he had been to Afghanistan, and he told me that this was the 7th year in a row that he has volunteered for a USO tour in this country.  I told him that since he had more time in this country than I have, he should have a combat patch.  He told me he hadn't gotten one yet, but he joked he might just make his own.  Since he has 7 tours here and I only have 1 I gave him my authentic 101st Airborne combat patch.  

We flew him around all day today and took him to a few different bases to perform.  At our lunch stop I was able to watch his show, and I have to admit I really enjoyed it.  He is a very funny guy, and his songs made me laugh.  He played I Love this Bar, The Taliban Song and Beer for My Horses, plus a couple other funny songs that I never heard before.  One of them was a song that he wrote about a young soldier who's recruiter told him he could see the world and be all that he could be.  The recruiter made lots of promises, "But he never told me that they were going to shoot at me!"  That song was hillarious.  I laughed all the way through it, Its funny because its true!

Anyway, at the end of the day, Toby's staff asked us to shut down the helicopter so Toby could take pictures with us in front of the helicopter.  So I got my picture taken with Toby and my crew and I got a chance to just sit and talk with him for about 10 or 15 minutes.  I really enjoyed it.  He was very friendly and fun. 

~Jonny

Living the Dangerous Life

Howdy, Sam and I have been laying low recently, but we have been playing golf just about every weekend. So last Saturday, Sam and I were driving to the next hole when Sam decided to take a 90 degree turn at the last second at full speed. Well the cart rolled and we went flying. As I flew though the air I saw Mtn. Dew cans, golf balls, and Golf Tees all hurling past my face. I landed on top of Sam whose head was barely missed by a deadly blow from the golf cart top, which no doubt would have rendered him a retard with a misshapen head for the rest of his life. The cart landed on my leg and I thought it was broken and was screaming for Sam to pick it up off my leg. Once he did I stood up and looked around to see about 20 golfers all just staring at us. Luckily, the bruises will eventually heal and the Golf Course didn't ban us for life (at least that we know of), they seemed more concerned about the damage done to the cart and asked us to come by the club house later, which we didn't do. So we'll be going in disguise next time we visit that course.

Summary, we get to take real showers unlike Josh, and that everyone should roll a golf cart at least once in their lives. Bruises heal, memories are forever.

Camp Virginia is not a permanent base.  Once we are finished with it we have agreed with the Kuwaitis to return it to its "pristine desert condition."  There are no real buildings- just trailers and tents.  Since we are in the middle of the desert, all the water has to be trucked in, so the water gets rationed.  The picture here is the shower trailer.  Note the white water tank sitting right next to it.  The tank looks like it holds a lot of water, but just wait until dozens of your closest friends get there first- it will run dry very quickly if everyone takes a normal shower like we do at home.  That's the reason for the rules you see posted on this sign.  Yes, the army even tells us how to shower.  Fortunately for us Navy types, this is nothing new.  Most ships ration water too, especially when one of the desalination systems breaks down (as frequently happens.)

Hello family!  I have never posted to a blog before, so here is the first attempt- hopefully I won't mess it up!

As Deborah said, I made it safely to Kuwait.  The first few days have been a little busy as I turnover with the guy I am relieving.  He leaves on Sunday after his 6 months here.  

Kuwait is probably just like you imagine it- lots of open sand and not much else.  It hasn't been too hot so far, but I'm certain that will probably change as summer arrives.  It actually rained constantly for the first 24 hours I was here, but everyone says that was unusual. 

Yesterday we drove up to the Iraqi border.  Camp Virginia, where I am posted, is about a 30 minute drive south from there.  In between are firing and bombing ranges used by all of the coalition military forces. We were visiting some of our guys conducting convoy training with Sailors going on to Iraq or Afghanistan and decided to drive just a bit farther to see the crossing.  The sand on the Iraqi side looks just like the sand on this side.  

There are plenty of nomads that roam the desert too.  They herd camels and goats for the most part.  The camels wander out into the road all the time, so you have to be careful when driving.  The camel will look at the oncoming car and walk right into the road- almost as if he is daring the car to hit him.  It seems like a harsh life being a nomad, but I guess some of them are actually seem fairly modern, having generators and satellite TV set up for their tents.  The go from place to place, finding tiny plants growing in the sand for their herds to graze on.  But it must still be miserably hot and dusty.  The sand here is very fine- like talcum powder- so anytime the wind blows the dust goes everywhere.  You have to wear glasses all the time.  I forgot to bring mine with me yesterday and mine eyeballs are still sore!  I can only imagine what it is like when a real sandstorm comes along...

Made it there safe and sound

Hey everyone, Josh made it to Kuwait safe and sound. I thought you'd want to know. When I get his address from him I will get it to you. Until then enjoy the picture!